12 years ago

12 years ago today I was in a drug induced stupor, hallucinating about a never ending line of circus animals...begging for them to just kill me instead. Sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? Sure does until you fast forward to 4:58 PM that afternoon when that final push resulted in my 7 lb .08 oz, 19 inch bundle of screaming joy! John was a mess, kept repeating himself "She looks just like me, she looks just like me", my mom was holding my hand and I just felt such relief after having been in labor for 36 excurciating hours.

Dr. Hatton, who had been with us through the miscarriages, the ultra sounds, the tests, everything was right there too with a big smile on her face, like a proud mama bear. The dr almost missed it I swear, I could tell Sydneys head was crowning and the dr was down the hall coming out of the elevator, she came rushing in with the nurses throwing her gloves, and gown on...all just in time too!

Sydney Jai Wells was born right at the end of the 1997 NBA All Star Game...much to her fathers chagrin :) In between contractions we all would look at the TV to see who was doing what...a pretty funny memory, but pretty accurate for John and I! LOL!

Before she made her appearance into the world I was the center of everyones attention...as soon as she left my body I was nothing but a thought in passing! HAHA! I kept asking "Does she have Johns Sr ears?" but no one heard me, except my mom who was cracking up, finally Johns mom heard me and said "No, thank God!" Such a relief! Anyone who has seen Johns dads ears would understand my fear!

She was perfect! They gave her to me and she was screaming, just mad at the worl that she had just been yanked from her warm scurity into a big cold world! I remember telling her "It's ok mama, I'm here" and she quieted down a bit. They had to take her to the nursery, after putting all the bracelets and everything on of course, but John wouldn't even let them put her in the basinet, he held her and walked her down to the nursery himself. Everyone followed him, and it was just the nurse and I left in the room. Quiet, for the first time in 36 hours...it was bliss! I was exhausted, beaten up, but the happiest I had ever been! The nurse chatted with me (about what I have no clue now!) while she wrapped me up in the best blankes ever! Oh, they were warm and enveloped me in heaven! I sat in a wheelchair so she could wheel me down to my room, as we passed the nursery, everyone was outside the window gawking over the new baby. I manage to squeak out a Hi to everyon, and in response I got a half wave and hi from my own family, but they had pure joy on their faces! We had waited so long for this little being to arrive,and then it was a girl? The first girl since me! It was a great day!

I got to my room and my mom came in to check on me, then John came in, he looked so tired, but with the biggest grin on his face I had ever seen! Finally I was hungry so he went to get me some food, but when he came back I couldn't eat. I was so tired, but so beyond tired my body couldn't do anything but just sit there! At some point they brought me my precious baby and my mom and mother in law went back to our house, leaving just John and I alone with our new baby. We watched her stretch and yawn and cry and wiggle, it was the best form of entertainment we had ever been witness to! I think around 11 John went home to sleep, leaving Sydney and I alone for the night. I remember just sitting there looking at her and she staring back at me with those big brown eyes...like "well, what now?" I tried to go to sleep with her in that bassinet thing, but I couldn't sleep at all, until I put her warm little body next to mine and we slept for a few hours.

A dream come true that day was! Our nurses were horrible so we checked out early to go home. My mom and his mom stayed a few more days to help us get used to being with a new baby, but as much as we loved both of them we secretly couldn't wait for them to leave, so we could have her all to ourselves. And now 12 short years later here we are dealing with pre teen angst and attitude! John thinks I'm kidding when I tell him I would rather deal with teething and potty training than all of this new stuff! I don't know how 12 years have passed so quickly, but I am going to hold on to the next 6 years pretty tightly!